Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I am puke

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  (617): I am puke http://tfl.nu/8ec4
  Replies (2) Good night (924) Bad night (1192)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?

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  (513): the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts? http://tfl.nu/aqwb
  Replies (55) Good night (2408) Bad night (1412)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher

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  (734): Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher http://tfl.nu/nr2j
  Replies (22) Good night (638) Bad night (2793)
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  (858): View more from California

  the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.

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  (858): the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am. http://tfl.nu/40nx
  Replies (28) Good night (749) Bad night (3143)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.

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  (402): her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed. http://tfl.nu/jsdy
  Replies (13) Good night (2008) Bad night (3689)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.

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  (917): Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you. http://tfl.nu/j1py
  Replies (6) Good night (3530) Bad night (988)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...

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  (305): woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"... http://tfl.nu/ev8f
  Replies (5) Good night (3770) Bad night (1244)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon

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  (416): i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon http://tfl.nu/v68b
  Replies (3) Good night (2280) Bad night (939)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.

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  (806): We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers. http://tfl.nu/r7l6
  Replies (16) Good night (2683) Bad night (796)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death

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  (262): You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death http://tfl.nu/q3md
  Replies (4) Good night (1089) Bad night (777)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"

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  (410): You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails (1-410): I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling" (1-410): The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself" http://tfl.nu/79pq
  Replies (3) Good night (1376) Bad night (456)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Beer bonging to Ave Maria

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  (484): Beer bonging to Ave Maria http://tfl.nu/1lbd
  Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!

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  (803): I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score! http://tfl.nu/zwep
  Replies (2) Good night (402) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god

  (1-516): View more from New York

  You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!

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  (516): Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god (1-516): You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!! http://tfl.nu/q7xb
  Replies (4) Good night (802) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths

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  (734): I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths http://tfl.nu/fyxi
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (407)

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