Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?

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(720): View more from Colorado

I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.

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(410): View more from Maryland

college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free

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(949): View more from California

She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(701): View more from North Dakota

two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

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(310): View more from California

you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang

(917): View more from New York City

really making moves this morning i see

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(712): View more from Iowa

WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT

(1-712): View more from Iowa

PLEASE DON'T

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.

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