Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.

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  (412): Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head. http://tfl.nu/0n78
  Replies (114) Good night (8850) Bad night (1392)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.

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  (703): BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP. http://tfl.nu/bqsy
  Replies (20) Good night (1137) Bad night (6649)
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  (916): View more from California

  I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex

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  (916): I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex http://tfl.nu/qjjk
  Replies (10) Good night (4960) Bad night (686)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

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  (250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti
  Replies (19) Good night (1169) Bad night (4138)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.

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  (201): oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay. http://tfl.nu/lkny
  Replies (24) Good night (2350) Bad night (3606)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.

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  (301): I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation. http://tfl.nu/sh4c
  Replies (19) Good night (3312) Bad night (1371)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.

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  (641): What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore. http://tfl.nu/icvy
  Replies (5) Good night (1231) Bad night (964)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car

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  (203): You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/3edo
  Replies (2) Good night (1180) Bad night (608)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.

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  (610): Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka. http://tfl.nu/ea3z
  Replies (8) Good night (1243) Bad night (759)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless

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  (709): its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless http://tfl.nu/73du
  Replies (5) Good night (700) Bad night (594)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night

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  (517): The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night http://tfl.nu/871q
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (404)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update

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  (215): Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update http://tfl.nu/adag
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (299)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me

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  (406): Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me http://tfl.nu/el5y
  Replies (3) Good night (1108) Bad night (365)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.

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  (612): I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone. http://tfl.nu/naxz
  Replies (1) Good night (396) Bad night (578)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.

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  (989): 8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me. http://tfl.nu/04oc
  Replies (0) Good night (240) Bad night (307)

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