We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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