Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts

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  (248): I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts http://tfl.nu/hn1f
  Replies (7) Good night (2714) Bad night (668)
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  (916): View more from California

  does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.

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  (916): does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind. http://tfl.nu/4b1q
  Replies (3) Good night (3207) Bad night (535)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.

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  (205): TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush. (205): better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush. http://tfl.nu/xveq
  Replies (38) Good night (1009) Bad night (5242)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."

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  (905): He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING." http://tfl.nu/odsi
  Replies (3) Good night (2256) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.

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  (757): We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out. http://tfl.nu/e9z5
  Replies (4) Good night (1179) Bad night (3620)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.

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  (617): he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes. http://tfl.nu/atub
  Replies (9) Good night (542) Bad night (2487)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.

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  (254): Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick. http://tfl.nu/p5hu
  Replies (22) Good night (3750) Bad night (1209)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell her thanks so much

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  (570): I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences. (484): tell her thanks so much http://tfl.nu/mozf
  Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.

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  (312): Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available. http://tfl.nu/293f
  Replies (6) Good night (509) Bad night (984)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?

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  (312): he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent? http://tfl.nu/n82j
  Replies (7) Good night (388) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.

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  (570): No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong. http://tfl.nu/gy5i
  Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.

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  (309): Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements. http://tfl.nu/4ok2
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car

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  (703): To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car http://tfl.nu/yj9e
  Replies (0) Good night (221) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.

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  (202): My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream. http://tfl.nu/02rn
  Replies (9) Good night (1128) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work

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  (763): you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work http://tfl.nu/lqsd
  Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (208)

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