I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
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She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.