Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.