yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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