People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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