A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
