Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He better not be in your backpack
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Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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