Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..