Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??