We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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