Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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