quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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