It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
