but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sorry about my life...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
