Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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