i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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