you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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