K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
