Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
