Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize