i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
