just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize