OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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