Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just pee around me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
