Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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