remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just had sex bonerless
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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