I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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