I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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