Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
