She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
