I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
