OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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