are you still at the devil's house?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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