pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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