I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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