You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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