I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There r osticjed everywhere
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
