shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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