Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
