That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
