I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
