My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
