guys are not supposed to queef...right?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
