Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
