New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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