make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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