Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
zippers are such a cool invention
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
