Cold hands, warm shart.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize