Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
