I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
