How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Randomize
