I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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