as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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