we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
