New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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