Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
nutella sex= disaster
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
