i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
