i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
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I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
