im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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