I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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