ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
