Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
